As I went hastily down the familiar corridor and entered the elevator, I pushed the button. Then time went in reverse and all that old pain and grief came rushing in like a flood. The perimeters of thar cubicle bulging out like a bloated bag and ready to burst. This was way too familiar and the 57 days I had spent in that hospital were like yesterday. The sad thing is that was over 3 years ago. Do you think its time to hit the road …..a new road?

I hear myself asking the same question I asked so long ago…what now Lord? Do I need a come to Jesus moment like Paul in the bible?

I’m realizing this journey is like driving on a snow packed road and into a ditch. Immediately you discover, (as you give the gas pedal all you got), the tires are going fast but the car isn’t moving. Then you give it the gas again and still go nowhere. Eventually you spend all your frustration, bad language (repent) and come to calm. Here in snow country it is a wise decision to carry kitty litter or sand in the back. Get out and sprinkle the sand front and back of the tires and get back in. Now slowly you give it the gas and go forward and backward until you gain traction and get back on the road.

The hospital horrors are over and behind me. Your tears fall less frequently and you still go backward and forward until you get traction on life. You will never forget your loved one, EVER, so lighten up. I used to have a sign on my fridge that said, {even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you sit there}

I made a huge decision this week, I decided to get rid of all my canning supplies. I gave them to a new bride who was thrilled and so thankful. I could have gotten a nice amount of money, but I feel a lot better passing them on to someone who will use them and appreciate them. This is a step going forward and not looking back or fanaticizing about the good ole days. Its a good feeling to give a hand up to another person. Trusting myself to do the right thing and go forward, all the while praying I am on the right road to recovery, trusting God and following his idea: to do what is good and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with the Lord Micah 6:8

Here is an easy dessert recipe for potluck or Sunday dinner.

2 reg size containers of cool whip

1 small package chocolate instant pudding

1/3 cup half and half

1 pan cooked brownies

1 large package strawberries chopped and sliced

1 cup sugar

add sugar to berries and mix then cover and refrigerate for several hours

Mix pudding with about 1/3 cup half and half then fold in cool-whip

cut up or tear brownies into pieces

In a small trifle bowl carefully layer brownies- strawberries- and chocolate cool-whip mixture Use a slotted spoon for the berries You can pipe rosettes on final layer for an extra garnish Enjoy